ugliness

I file in a manic manner
don't know what  else to do
don't know how  else to
crush the rush of panic
of pain, of sickness
pushing, pushing at my
throat
I hold back the flood
just - just
how  I am cursed
will never be free
of this bleeding
this blood profusion
surging from me
leaching outward
from  my heart
my  soul has been
drowned  in the
redness of all this
ugly liquid
I die from dehydration
I am  anaemic
from  lack of love
1 become as ugly
as my  blood

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