The Day II

the day is streamlined, with light
like a large lake of cool water stretching
flat and bright

my computer, my fire
the film I admire
and enjoy, the hours of my day alight

although I pull them down with
darkness and dismay
I cannot help it - it is how

I am made - unique clay -
the voices of poets long gone
ringing in my head:

worth more dead, words with
gravitas, life forlorn,
hands at the plough

so much to say so little
time: no reason and
no rhyme

I think of all the interplay
of hours and moments,
all the love I've known,

all the regret
all the spent wrongs
you can't take back

I have held lack with full hands
there are no amends
little pills taste bitter on the tongue

the heart wrung and wrung
like a wet dishcloth
and the hours awake at night

in the dark, panic, block
how long how long
till I am happy

till all is ok
and I am young
redeem the time

take it over
do it again
but get it right -

say all the right things
at the right time
and no regrets

I just miss her
and I miss the place -
my space has weights

and my peace has noise
there are no good turns
no new ploys

it just sinks into the earth
the time
silting and layering the heart

as if it had never been
because all our tiny grains 
of care

come to nothing in the end
and the world effaces:
we were never here
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