weights II

the weight crushes me with
what was, the past
realer and sorer than
what is - the ache
in the gut the
hole in the heart the
soul torn beyond
healing beyond
kin, and the summer days
gone like water through
the fingers, I sing a
dirge in my heart,
heavy with missing, the
blood thick and
flowing, the deep cut
excels and stings - feel
the weight of life
in your hand like
a stone to be
thrown into the deep
pool - disturbance
at the cool stretching
of air breathed in -
winter in the
skin and cold fur
icing with the passing
hand of frosts's
brightnesses, beauty
sears and leaves,
hardship beckons -
cruelty on the rise -
but the
moment lives
and excises, cuts out
all the poisons,
sustains and
reels the body in -
caught I am
on the long string,
the long striving,
the lone trail, the
footsteps echoing
fall into
distance and ease -
I breathe here
see hills and trees,
I lost them all,
all the loves
and I cut out 
my own heart in 
strivings that carry 
worth before them like 
sacrifice, locked-in 
to the here and now I 
negotiate what is
disease and pleasure 
seeping, sustaining, 
breaking, the heart in 
pieces but still 
here, weighted 
and well
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