Discarding the Unreal Stones II

I stand in this high place
    and all around me stones are strewn
    colouring the ground
    a mosaic, a collage of
    comprising all of my defeats
all of my defects
    here lie
the bones of all my hopes
    all 1 have foregone, foresworn,
here my pride lies
worn and tramped upon

     and my shame  burns
ruby in the sun

     and far beyond
     where I am
     in the valley leagues away
     I see spread out strange
     new lands crossed
by the sun's rays
     streaks of bright green bright purple
     stripe the terrain -
     there are mountains, snow, trees
     dark ranges in shadow
     my eyes cannot penetrate -
     1 must leave this place
leave the first half of my life
littering the ground

these were my days
each one unwound, 
lived in,
and I discard them all, renounce
all that they have been
     I have never known
     any of them
     each and every one
	I cast down
     leave behind
     all this coloured passion -
     I step down
     with nothing
     but whiteness
     on my  mind

I finger them farewell, these people
these pieces of jade, sad
and green as weedfilled waters -
I rub chunks of coal
on my skin, engrain

their grimy markings -
black and gritty tracks
remind me of my sin
(I will not erase this dirt)
uncut diamonds  rough and white
fill my hands with frost                          
they blind me with their icy breath, their chill
           spreads through me like purity

 and pearls soft and creamy as a lily's heart
 pour through my fingers -
 I shed them like sweet tears -
will not linger here

 thus I spill the years
 yet my time will live on in these stones
 endure the rains, to know
         silence and repose, to suffer
         only the ephemeral weather's touch -
 all the injury
 all of the abrasiveness
 I pour into their contours
 seal within their colours
 I gladly leave them here on the roof of the world
 where they cannot wear me 
 for my hair blows free in a fine
 cool wind - I am

 in this week of Spring
 in my  thirty-third year
 I step onto a new path
 and I hold no fear

for I know now
how to make my own Stone shine -

 I will see my own Life's Kingdom won
 I turn towards the Sun
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